If there was a competition to see which people were the most American, we would surely lose to the Japanese. At least in the categories of Pop Culture and Consumerism, this fine race of men has beaten us at our own game. Give ‘em a trophy.
ROUND ONE
On their consumerism victory, I think we can all agree. Swallowing it down like the generic pill that it is, they internalized the game wholly and perfectly, without hesitation or shame.
Us: “People like to eat French cuisine. Let’s start a restaurant.”
Them: “Has anyone ever wondered what it would be like to eat out of a toilet bowl? Gross!!! Yeah, maybe. Let’s start a restaurant where you eat out of toilet bowls!”
Us: “Let’s put a bunch of pictures on the wall from old movies, people will like that.”
Them: “Let’s dress up all the waitresses like hot manga chicks so businessmen can live out their fantasies over lunch! They’ll like that!”
Do you think for one second that our own teems of pencil-pushers don’t want, say, Princess Leia to serve them a bleeding steak in a metal bikini?! Think again! Japan has made a commodity out of every hope, dream and desire it could think of. Whether you think this is a good thing or not, it is die hard consumerism, and they have mastered it.
ROUND TWO
On the pop culture side, it’s a close call, but I still think they may have us. While we’ve floated along, comfortably resting on the shoulders of our past cultural triumphs, they’ve watched, learned and pounced.
Us:
- We invented pop culture.
Them:
- Every guitar player I’ve seen of theirs is at least as good as every guitar player I’ve seen of ours.
- They have George Clooney’s face selling coffee on vending machines.
- All the horror movies we’ve made in the past 10 years are remakes of theirs.
- If you put the word “Tokyo” into Babblefish you get back: LAND OF EXTREME OZ TO THE MAX!
Too close to call?
